May 9, 2008
Walk Zee Plank, Maties!

Did anyone catch the season finale of Family Guy last week? I didn't realize it was the last episode of the season until I saw the promo poster for "Long John Peter" in a magazine.

The writers and animators really went all out during the creation of the "Long John Peter" episode, because it's one of the best Family Guy episodes yet.

Peter pretending to be a pirate was absolutely priceless. Stealing someone's parrot, and then randomly deciding to become a swashbuckler while driving recklessly around town is totally not out of character for Peter Griffin.

As far as I can recall, Peter didn't get fall-down drunk in this episode, which is rather uncharacteristic for a pirate..

-DetErest, Webmaster of Detstar.com

May 5, 2008
Pizza's Here!

Dexter & Marley have no idea order up some munchies in Dexter Comics Episode 143, written by my buddy Crash.

And for anyone who enjoys getting drunk on a Monday... Happy Cinco de Mayo!

-DetErest, Webmaster of Detstar.com

May 3, 2008
Super Mario!

Just a bunch of my favorite looking baddies and items from the Mario Universe, most of which are from Super Mario Bros 3. I think the Paragoomba, Boss Bass, and the bottom Piranha Plant turned out the best.

-DetErest, Webmaster of Detstar.com

-DetErest, Webmaster of Detstar.com

Reading the newspaper is a good way to make girls think you're smart... A random useless fact I read in the newspaper is what inspired this scene in Marley's basement for Episode 142.

I'm also dedicating this episode to my late grandmother, who was a biker chick as a teen. She taught me to "Knock 'em down, and kick 'em for falling!". Talking about hockey, she said "I like to watch 'em fight". She'll be forever remembered, forever missed.

-DetErest, Webmaster of Detstar.com

Today, the Dexter Comics are resurrected with Episode 141, which was originally drawn last year... Stay tuned for brand spankin' new episodes starting Monday, including one that was penciled, inked and colored only yesterday.

-DetErest, Webmaster of Detstar.com

Another must-have game for the holiday season is Sudden Death Hockey, a game that die-hard hockey fans have been killing each other for.

Seconds after each opening faceoff, the game erupts into a battle royale. With no focus on scoring goals and all of the attention on beating the hell out of the other team, this game can be enjoyed for hours on end.

Fist-fights, skate-stabbing and even decapitations, this is the ultimate gift for any hockey fan.

-DetErest, Webmaster of Detstar.com

A teacher in Sudan was recently fired and jailed for letting her students name a teddy bear after the prophet Mohammed... In Islam, Mohammed is a very acceptable name for a man, but it's disrespectful to use the name for an animal.

It was an honest mistake, and the British teacher didn't intend to offend. She even let the children vote on the bear's name. (In Sudan, it's probably forbidden to teach kids about democracy.)

For committing this "crime", she could have faced forty lashes, or even six months in prison... But she was lucky enough to serve a few weeks in jail, after which she was deported from the country.

I wonder if Santa Claus has to deal with these cultural misunderstandings while flying over hostile territory...

-DetErest, Webmaster of Detstar.com

The Holiday season is stressful enough to make someone go on a killing spree... But you can temporarily repress those pesky homicidal thoughts with a copy of Twisted Violence 7.

-DetErest, Webmaster of Detstar.com

Welcome to The Island of Rejected Toys! These cool games & action figures have all been banned by international safety standards. Not only are they dangerous, but they're also guaranteed to corrupt innocent young minds!

This motley crew of terrible toys include some of my personal favorites like Mr. Crackhead, Happy Hour Barbie, and Horny Horny Hippos! The Island of Rejected Toys

-DetErest, Webmaster of Detstar.com

Rumors of a Britney Spears performance on Sesame Street have turned out to be false. According to the bogus story, she was going to sing duet with Oscar the Grouch.

It's just as well that Britney won't be appearing for the 3-5 year old set, because she's hardly a role model for little kids. Nobody wants to turn their sweet little daughter into a whore before she gets to junior high.

Still, I had to find out what would happen if Britney Spears met Oscar the Grouch, so I let my mind wander... Britney Spears & Oscar the Grouch is exactly the kind of crap Dexter & Marley would watch on afternoon TV.

-DetErest, Webmaster of Detstar.com

I carved a Grim Reaper design on a pumpkin just for the hell of it. Upon examining the photos, the cat was seen creeping past in the dark... On the prowl for Halloween candy, no doubt.

-DetErest, Webmaster of Detstar.com

Last month, a student was tasered at the University of Florida by campus police officers after asking Senator John Kerry a few difficult questions...

Andrew Meyer presented some questions in a very intelligent and (somewhat) respectful manner… For his efforts, he was given a dose of electrical shock, and a free night in jail…

Meyer demanded to know why he was being arrested, and the police wouldn't answer him. He was eventually charged with "inciting a riot".

Politicians are supposed to work for the public. And as the public, it's our democratic right to hurl insults and difficult questions at these assholes. I realize that when put on the spot, they'll just feed us a bunch of lies… But we still have the right to ask.

John Kerry even asked security to let Meyer go, and even offered to answer the questions… But of course, the power-tripping law enforcers couldn't hear him as they were having way too much fun zapping an unarmed man with their taser guns.

Free speech is becoming extinct. We're free to say pretty much anything we like, as long as it doesn't cast doubt on the government or offend anyone...

A police state is slowly surrounding us, but nobody seems to care... To speak up or object is to be hammered down, just as Marley and Skye discover today's episode of Dexter Comics.

-DetErest, Webmaster of Detstar.com

In the spirit of The Matrix, Marley goes deep into the rabbit hole in Dexter Comics.

-DetErest, Webmaster of Detstar.com

Osama bin Laden's comeback video was almost as embarassing as Britney Spears' performance at the Video Music Awards... With a fresly died beard, the al Qaeda leader preached death to America, and urged the world to convert to Islam... Whether or not he's crazier than Britney remains to be seen.

-DetErest, Webmaster of Detstar.com

Ah, Dubya. His speeches always crack me up. If he'd just learn how to read and write, he'd... Well, he'd still be a lousy president- But at least he wouldn't look so pathetic at the podium.

And I'm not just picking on Bush... I find it quite sad that world leaders no longer offer their own statements to the public, and rely on someone else to come up with their messages. How are these words supposed to have any impact on us as citizens when we know that some other jackass (or a team of jackasses) received tax dollars to write a speech about how deeply Mr. Politician cares about [insert subject here]?

Clinton was a President who never let people put things in his mouth... He was a doer... A real believer. But when people put words in a President's mouth, it effectively makes the President nothing more than a puppet. Question is, who's hand is up his ass? And who's really pulling the strings?


-DetErest, Webmaster of Detstar.com

Pick up any newspaper, and you're likely to find a story about a North American factory closing down and relocating to China. It's infiltrated every industry, from toys to electronics, even pet food...

It's good business - Companies need to cut costs, and what better way than to fire your entire workforce, and hire people who work for $2 a day? But these bargains come at a price, often posing serious safety hazards to children and pets.

The blame shouldn't fall on the poor Chinese people... Instead, blame corporations like MATTELL and IAMS for outsourcing to China in order to make cheap crap. Obviously, the health and safety of the consumer is not a priority for the billionaire execs who lead these companies.


-DetErest, Webmaster of Detstar.com