Television icon Oprah Winfrey is larger than life. Her show is rather popular too. But now, she's sending a horrible message to the millions of viewers who watch her show; She claims that bread has made her fat. This simply an unfair accusation towards baked goods.

Sliced bread was one of the greatest things ever invented, second only to television.
Bread was discovered first, then television, followed by fat people.

As far as fatness is concerned, It seems more logical to blame TV instead of bread.
Claiming that bread is an unhealthy food choice is a load of crap.

New age diets can cost a shitload of money, but a loaf of bread costs about a buck. If you're looking for an added workout, you can snatch a loaf from the grocery store, and run away without paying. This burst of exercise will burn off any calories actually contained in the bread itself.

It's clear that Oprah is involved in a sinister plot to abolish tasty eating. She's bashed hamburgers in the past, and now she's badmouthing bread. Clearly, we need to stop the crazy bitch before she wages war on our traditional food from atop the Empire State Building...