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Island of
Rejected Toys


Horribly Twisted Gifts... Like Baby's First
Table Saw


Grand Theft OTTO: Springfield

Snake... Wiggum... Homer... They're all here!


Episode 134

Lifeguard Opportunity at Bayview Beach


Rastafarian Homer

Pass the Dutchie on the left side, mon.


Episode 131

Dexter & Marley...
Forever borowing stuff that ain't theirs.


Star Whores

Looks like Han is sleeping solo tonight


Episode 128

Dexter takes a cheap shot at Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney


Episode 127

Mary & Dexter discuss the American flag


Episode 126

Dexter & Marley go shopping for female hygiene products


Episode 124

Marley goes Easter shopping


Bill Gates
Goes to Hell

Dexter's rant about
Windows Vista



Mario Kart Double Dash: Characters

Written by DetErest

Characters Karts Secret Unlocks

A whole cast of characters are available in Double Dash, many of which are making their Mario Kart debut. But whether they're veterans or rookies, all of them have what it takes to capture the gold. The results lie in the hands of the person using a controller to hug corners, plant items, and race like never before.

LIGHTWEIGHTS

Baby Mario
Special Item: Chain Chomp
He's not old enough to shave, and doesn't even have a driver's license... But that doesn't stop Baby Mario from hopping into his buggy to compete in Mario Kart - Let's just hope he's got a few spare diapers with him, otherwise things could get messy...

Baby Luigi
Special Item: Chain Chomp
He calls him self "Baby Wuigi". This little guy can just barely see over the wheel, which actually makes him taller than some of the older drivers found on your local roads...

Koopa Troopa
Special Item: Triple Shells
One of my favorite characters from the original Super Mario Kart who wasn't included in Mario Kart 64, but now he's back in action. I choose him often because of his special item - Triple Shells. Nothing says "I love you" better than three well placed attacks to a rival kart.

Paratroopa
Special Item: Triple Shells
This winged Koopa is making his first racing appearance, but you'd think he was a veteran... Even though one Koopa has a green shell on his back while the other one has red, each of them can use triple red AND triple green shells as their special items.

Diddy Kong
Special Item: Giant Banana Peel
He starred in his very own racing game, and now he's back to tear up the track once more. Remember the giant bananas after defeating a boss in the original Donkey Kong Country? Imagine a banana peel that size, placed in an inconvenient spot on the track...

Bowser Jr.
Special Item: Bowser Shell
He's kinda like "Mini-Me" from Austin Powers... He's just as evil as the real Bowser, except he's too small to do as much damage. That doesn't mean he can't dish it out though - His special shell item bounces around, and can knock the hell out of other racers, especially as it pings back and forth in a narrow corridor.

Toad
Special Item: Super Mushroom
The happy little mushroom dude has been featured in all three Mario Kart games. In this screenshot, I could have sworn that Wario was flipping the bird on the way by... Toad just grins and bears it. He's a little bit TOO happy if you ask me...

Toadette
Special Item: Super Mushroom
A female mushroom retainer, only we've never seen her behind the wheel before. She appears as a package deal with Toad, as the two secret characters are unlocked at the same time. The special item for the pair is the Super Mushroom from Mario Kart 64. While using this Super 'Shroom, you'll be able to boost repeatedly until it wears off.



MIDDLE WEIGHTS

Mario
Special Item: Fireball
What would a Mario Kart game be without... Mario? The star of many Nintendo games is back in the driver's seat for another ride. And finally, we have the chance to open fire on other racers with Mario's trademark fireball attack. Launch a spreading fireball forward or backward to hit your foes.

Luigi
Special Item: Fireball
He's just as competent as Mario, but has been playing second string for years. It doesn't seem to bother Luigi though... Just by looking at him, you can tell that he doesn't have a swelled head like Mario. He has the same fireball attack as Mario, only his flames are green.

Peach
Special Item: Heart Shield
She may have been a lightweight in Mario Kart 64, but now she joins the middleweights... Does that mean she's packed on a few pounds since last time? When asked about her weight situation, she spit cheesecake at the microphone and told reporters to mind their own business. According to her royal spokeswoman, Peach was simply wearing a heavy load of gold jewelry during the weigh in.

Daisy
Special Item: Heart Shield
Peach and Mario seem to be slightly involved with one another, and many people suggest that Daisy is the gal for Luigi... Aside from their infatuation with the Mario brothers, Daisy and Peach share a power... Their special item involves a protective heart shield that circles the kart, deflecting banana peels and other hazard items.

Yoshi
Special Item: Yoshi Egg
The little green Dino is back for yet another round of Mario Kart... Just like Princess Peach, he's also moved up to the middleweight category. Sounds like they need to implement some sort of diet or junk food advisory inside the Mushroom Kingdom...

Birdo
Special Item: Birdo Egg
She (He?) first appeared in Super Mario Bros 2, which was long before we ever met Yoshi. But Birdo is hardly as famous as the highly recognized Yoshi... A special item for the two characters is a giant homing egg, which they can toss forwards or backwards to hit rivals. Once the egg makes contact, it breaks, and items spill out. Some are prizes, while others are punishments. Approach a broken egg with caution, because you never know whether the items on the track will be invincibility stars or banana peels.

Waluigi
Special Item: Bob-omb
Although he's evil, it's a comical kind of evil. It's funny when Waluigi falls out from the back of a kart, and gets dragged on the ground, hanging on only by his hands. As for special items, Waluigi has Bob-ombs... Toss 'em on the track, and they go kaboom. Just be careful that you don't drive into your own deadly trap.



HEAVY WEIGHTS

Donkey Kong
Special Item: Giant Banana Peel
He may be the king of the jungle, but he's also looking to prove that he's the king of the racetrack as well. Donkey Kong might not be the brightest banana in the box, but luckily you don't need a high IQ score to drive... Otherwise, I'm sure many people out there would have had their licenses revoked by now... The big ape shares a secret weapon with his little pal Diddy - A giant banana peel to plant on the road, causing problems for other drivers.

Bowser
Special Item: Bowser Shell
Just like Donkey Kong, the King of the Koopas has made an appearance in every single Mario Kart. Maybe it's just me, but he doesn't seem to look as dangerous this time... Perhaps it's just old age catching up with him. He's still got a ferocious roar, which is enough to scare the crap out of the other drivers. As was mentioned before... Let's just hope Baby Mario has extra diapers in case of a much needed change.

Wario
Special Item: Bob-omb
The evil incarnation of Mario is back for his second round of Mario Kart. He recently starred in his own game, and now he's looking to add to his reputation by becoming a champion racecar driver. Of course he's gonna play dirty, so if you're facing off against Wario, expect a few Bob-ombs to explode on the track.

Petey Piranha
Special Item: Random Special Item
No, you're not seeing things - This plant really is driving a car. And his ride just happens to be a set of pipes...
What were they smokin' when they came up with this character concept? Physical impossibilities aside, he's a pretty cool character. You can't understand what he's trying to say, but he looks mean, and unique characters like Piranha Plants kick ass.

King Boo
Special Item: Random Special Item
One thing that's a bit strange about this ghost, is the fact that he's a heavyweight... Last time I checked, spirits didn't weight anything. Either way, he's one of my personal favorite characters. And with his ability to use other characters' special items, other racers won't stand a ghost of a chance against King Boo.


Characters Karts Secret Unlocks







 

All original content is Copyright © 1999-2008 by Detstar.com
Relax, dude. Parodied characters and personalities are just for shits and giggles.

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