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Island of
Rejected Toys


Horribly Twisted Gifts... Like Baby's First
Table Saw


Grand Theft OTTO: Springfield

Snake... Wiggum... Homer... They're all here!


Episode 134

Lifeguard Opportunity at Bayview Beach


Rastafarian Homer

Pass the Dutchie on the left side, mon.


Episode 131

Dexter & Marley...
Forever borowing stuff that ain't theirs.


Star Whores

Looks like Han is sleeping solo tonight


Episode 128

Dexter takes a cheap shot at Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney


Episode 127

Mary & Dexter discuss the American flag


Episode 126

Dexter & Marley go shopping for female hygiene products


Episode 124

Marley goes Easter shopping


Bill Gates
Goes to Hell

Dexter's rant about
Windows Vista



Mario Kart Double Dash: Items

Written by Hutz

A whole cast of characters are available in Double Dash, many of which are making their Mario Kart debut. But whether they're veterans or rookies, all of them have what it takes to capture the gold. The results lie in the hands of the person using a controller to hug corners, plant items, and race like never before.

STANDARD ITEMS (Available to all characters)

Banana
A rather silly item that's been used in several old cartoons. When used, the banana is popped out and the peel is placed on the track behind you, or thrown ahead if you tilt the Control Stick forward. Any kart who hits the peel will spin out and lose some speed. These are best placed in narrow areas like bridges.

Green Shell
This basic item is quite resourceful if used properly. You can toss it ahead and flip opponents into the air or destroy roadblocks (such as banana peels), plus it can be banked off walls so it ricochets around corners or down narrow hallways. If an enemy or item (such as a Red Shell) approaches from the rear, you can even toss it behind you for the ultimate kart protection!

Red Shell
Think heat-seeking missile. The Red Shell homes in on the kart one place ahead of you and travels down the track to hunt them down. The impact is just the same as a Green Shell, although much more foolproof. You may want to hold your fire if your opponent is carrying a shell or banana, though; Red Shells are easily destroyed by other items.

Fake Item Box
Dropped behind or thrown ahead of you, the Fake Item Box looks just like a regular item box from a distance. The catch is that the item inside is a huge electrical shock that will flip the unfortunate kart about. These boxes are best placed in clusters of real item boxes, since they're impossible to distinguish in groups. However, when alone they're easily determined by their reddish tint and upside-down question mark. Unlike banana peels or shells, these boxes cannot be used to block an incoming projectile attack.

Mushroom
When tossed into the exhaust pipe of a kart (or run over), Mushrooms temporarily add a nitro boost to your speed. If you smack into a kart while boosting with a mushroom, the opposing kart will spin out and the rear rider's item will go to you, assuming your rear rider is empty-handed. Use Mushrooms in groups of opponents to slow them down and drop their items. These items are also availble in groups of three, although you'll be unable to balance the other two on top of the initial one if you're hit by an item. If you get a group of three, use 'em quick before you're hit.

Spiked Shell
Tired of that bastard hogging first place? Take him down a peg or two with the Spiked Shell. When launched, it travels down the track and hunts down the leading kart, flipping over any karts in its path. Upon impact, the shell explodes and sends the not-so-fortunate victims flying high in the air, causing them to drop their items and lose much precious time recovering. If you see one of these shells being launched when you're in first place, hit the brakes and let someone else take the heat.

Star
When you're left in the dust, there's no item you want to see more than a Star. When you run over or otherwise use a Star, your kart will gain much speed and become invincible to attacks. In addition, any karts you hit will spin out and give you the rear rider's item (if your rear rider isn't carrying one already). Don't go crazy when you use a Star, though; take the shortest paths possible, and don't fall off course, or you'll lose all your temporary super powers.

Lightning Bolt
With a sudden flash and bang, all your opponents are toy cars and item-less. Use this opportunity to speed ahead of the pack and smack around your tiny adversaries with a mere touch of your vehicle. The best time to use a Lightning Bolt is when you see an opponent attempting to jump a chasm; they'll fall like a rock right into the pit.



SPECIAL ITEMS (Unique for each character)

Fireball
Mario & Luigi
Mario and Luigi's famed pyro attack has finally made itself into the Mario Kart series. When tossed, a swarm of five fireballs flies ahead (or backward, if you hold the Control Stick back when firing) and burns anything in its path. The flames can even be banked off walls to go around corners and such. Beware, as a poorly aimed fireball can ricochet back and singe your own kart.

Giant Banana
Donkey Kong & Diddy Kong
While anybody can use regular-sized bananas, only the Kongs have access to the insanely huge Giant Banana. Just like the regular version, Giant Bananas are popped out of the peels which are then placed on the track behind or thrown ahead, and are capable of completely sealing off a few narrow areas. Not only are Giant Bananas about ten times as big, but they split into a cluster of smaller banana peels when struck by an unlucky racer.

Heart
Peach & Daisy
When used, Hearts protect your kart from any incoming projectile attacks. Not only do the attacks not harm you, but the rear rider will grab the offending item and get to use it at their own will, assuming they aren't already carrying another item.

Triple Shells
Koopa & Paratroopa
Triple Shells work just like single Green Shells, but having three consecutive attacks is a godsend in case you accidently miss. Try nailing a driver two or three times before you pass them, and chances are you won't be seeing them for awhile. Even though one of these turtles has a red shell on his back while he other has green, they're both capable of getting the two different colored shell items.

Chain Chomp
Baby Mario & Baby Luigi
It seems as if these children were given a pet they can't keep control of. The Chain Chomp is chained to the kart and drags it ahead through the track and attacks anybody in its way. Eventually, the Chomp detaches and continues on its own for awhile. If you see the Chain Chomp logo behind your own kart, you'd better move aside to avoid its wrath, as it usually stays centered on the track.

Egg
Yoshi & Birdo
This special homing Egg works very similar to a Red Shell, except when an enemy is struck the egg explodes and random items pop out. Usually, more obstacles appear (such as banana peels and Green Shells), but if you see any Mushrooms or Stars on the track, run 'em over to receive their benefits instantly.

Bowser Shell
Bowser & Baby Bowser
Arguably the most destructive item in the game, the Koopas' enormous Shell is tossed out onto the track and bounces around for an extended period of time. The shell is so big that it usually takes up most of the track, which, when coupled with its speed, can easily attack several drivers during its lifespan. Be careful, as it's difficult to use this item without becoming a victim of it yourself.

Bob-omb
Wario & Waluigi
Simple, yet effective. The bombs are thrown either ahead or behind, and anyone caught in the explosion is flipped high into the air, leaving the riding character dangling from the back for a while. Even after the initial explosion, the blast radius becomes a danger zone for a short period of time, so avoid driving near it for a few seconds after the bomb erupts.

Super Mushroom
Toad & Toadette
Once initially used, the Gold Mushroom is an infinite source of speed boosts for several seconds. Just like regular Mushrooms, anybody hit during this speed boost will be spun out and have their current item taken away.

Random Special Items...
Petey Piranha & King Boo
These two secret characters don't have their own special items, and instead receive a random item from the above list when they get a Special item. This makes things interesting characters to use, because you never know what you'll get... Imagine targeting another kart with three red shells, then using a Bowser Shell to finish 'em off.







 

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