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Island of
Rejected Toys


Horribly Twisted Gifts... Like Baby's First
Table Saw


Grand Theft OTTO: Springfield

Snake... Wiggum... Homer... They're all here!


Episode 134

Lifeguard Opportunity at Bayview Beach


Rastafarian Homer

Pass the Dutchie on the left side, mon.


Episode 131

Dexter & Marley...
Forever borowing stuff that ain't theirs.


Star Whores

Looks like Han is sleeping solo tonight


Episode 128

Dexter takes a cheap shot at Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney


Episode 127

Mary & Dexter discuss the American flag


Episode 126

Dexter & Marley go shopping for female hygiene products


Episode 124

Marley goes Easter shopping


Bill Gates
Goes to Hell

Dexter's rant about
Windows Vista



Mario Kart Double Dash: Secret Unlocks

Written by DetErest

Characters Karts Secret Unlocks

Having hidden extras is always a great incentive to finish a game. The first two Mario Kart games only had a few things to unlock, but Double Dash has secret Karts, Characters, and even Battle Mode arenas.

Below are charts showing what you can earn for completing any given cup on Grand Prix mode. Of course, you need to finish in first place overall before you're be able to get your hands on any of these goodies...

50cc Class

Mushroom Cup
Reward: Green Fire (Luigi's Kart)
A clone of Mario's racer, only with a different paint job. It's faster than Mario's machine, but Luigi's kart sacrifices acceleration for a better top speed.

Flower Cup
Reward: Bloom Coach (Daisy's Kart)
The Bloom Coach is a copy of Peach's kart, with a floral theme to it... It's a bit faster than Peach's kart, but Daisy's kart has slightly lower acceleration.

Star Cup
Reward: Para Wing (Paratroopa's Kart)
Contrary to what it's name suggests, this kart can't take flight... Hell, it can't even travel very fast. But it has excellent acceleration, which can be a more valuable asset than speed in some races.

Special Cup*
Reward: Bullet Basher (Kart)
This little car is modeled after a Bullet Bill from the
Mario games. It's a pretty sweet ride, having a good speed and acceleration.

*You must place first in the 100cc Star Cup in order to unlock the Special Cup


100cc Class

Mushroom Cup
Reward: Rattle Buggy (Baby Luigi's Kart)
Take a trip back to your early years with this kart, modeled after a baby carriage. Don't think other racers will take it easy on you because you're wearing a diaper and riding inside a stroller... Everyone's fair game in Mario kart.

Flower Cup:
Reward: Waluigi Racer (Waluigi's Kart)
This kart is very well balanced, making it a good all round vehicle. It's one of the better looking machines in my opinion - If only it weren't painted purple. A dark and evil black color would seem more fitting... Still though, it's cool nonetheless.

Star Cup
Reward: Special Cup

As was the case in the two previous Mario Kart games, a fourth cup containing more tracks can be unlocked. By completing the 100cc Star Cup, you'll open up four brand new courses. Shown here is one of my favorite tracks from the game, Wario Coliseum.

Special Cup
Reward: Toad & Toadette Combo (Characters and the Toad Kart)
Finally, a real go-kart! This lightweight kart has great acceleration which can really come in handy when you're being bombarded by items. In addition to the kart, you'll also get Toad and Toadette as selectable characters.


150cc Class

Mushroom Cup
Reward: Luigi's Mansion (Battle Mode Arena)
Now you're presented with another arena for battle mode. This stage is based on one of the first games for the GCN, and it's a neat place to battle since there both stairs and rooms for running and hiding... Drive up to the top floor, then drop down through the roof to surprise players below.

Flower Cup
Reward: Turbo Birdo (Birdo's Kart)
Another 'clone' vehicle... This kart is a copy of Yoshi's ride. The differences here involve a higher top speed, but with lower acceleration. Birdo's kart is a bit heavier than Yoshi's, so it has a bit more ramming power.

Star Cup
Reward: Barrel Train (Kart)
One of the more original looking karts, the barrel train looks like an old locomotive. This unique racer belongs to none other than Diddy Kong, and it has pretty good speed.

Special Cup
Reward: All Cup Tour
The grueling All Cup tour includes every single track in the game. The first course will always be Luigi Circuit, with the final race being held on Rainbow Road. The other 14 tracks will be in a random order, so you'll never know what to expect. Be prepared for about 40 minutes of playing time here.

All Cup Tour
Reward: Mirror Mode
Just when you've finally memorized every turn and twist, the game throws you a curveball... Instead of just having 50cc, 100cc, and 150cc to choose from, you'll also have the 'Mirror' option. The tracks aren't any more challenging, but they can be tough since you're always turning in the opposite direction of what you're used to.


Mirror Mode

Mushroom Cup
Reward: Toadette Kart (Toadette's Kart)
A pretty pink version of Toad's Kart... The Toadette Kart doesn't have much speed, but it has excellent acceleration. You'll have to decide for yourself whether you prefer the Toad Kart or the Toadette Kart.

Flower Cup
Reward: Tilt-A-Kart (Battle Mode Arena)
Another new spot for you to battle it out in multiplayer mode. This arena balances, and can slowly be tipped... If you're not careful, you could find yourself slipping off the edge. The Tilt-A-Kart stage has a bit of a tribute to old school Mario, as the entire arena itself is shaped like Mario from the original Super Mario Bros... Plus, little Marios are visible in the background.

Star Cup
Reward: Petey Piranha & King Boo Combo (Characters & Piranha Pipes Kart)
Three prizes are handed out here... Two new characters, and a shiny new kart. Petey and Boo are interesting characters, because they don't have their own special items... Instead, they receive random special items from other characters.

Special Cup
Reward: Boo Pipes (King Boo's Kart)
This kart looks just like the Piranha Pipes, except for the coloring. Instead of having speed, it has acceleration. I prefer this machine over the Piranha Pipes during a Grand Prix. Being constantly ambushed with shells and other items from seven other karts, it's often beneficial to have acceleration to keep yourself in the race.

All Cup Tour
Reward: Parade Kart
Finally, your quest is complete... After finishing first place in the All Cup Tour of Mirror Mode, you'll be rewarded with an awesome vehicle: The Parade Kart. OK, so it doesn't look that great... But it has a good mix of speed AND acceleration, and is one of the best karts in the game. The only downfall is that it's pretty heavy, meaning it slows down if you go offroad.


Characters Karts Secret Unlocks







 

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Relax, dude. Parodied characters and personalities are just for shits and giggles.

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